COMPLEXITY VERSUS SIMPLICITY!

The following are  same date diary narrations of a wife and her husband(copied and slightly amended by us)
 
HER DIARY
 
I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet after work at Mr Biggs on First Avenue but i went from work to the shopping mall at the former Durbar Hotel with a friend.So I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late,but he made no comment.
 
Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent-minded.
 
I asked him what was wrong – he said,”Nothing.”. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
 
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t say,”I love u, too.”
 
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.
 
Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and .I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I confronted him on the situation but he had fallen asleep!
 
I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster!
 
HIS DIARY
 
Today Naija lost the match to Germany…DAMN IT!
 
 

THE ESSENCE OF SHOWING RESPECT TO YOUR SPOUSE (2)…BY ADERINSOLA OBASA

THE ESSENCE OF SHOWING RESPECT TO YOUR SPOUSE (2)…BY ADERINSOLA OBASAI am so very glad to be sharing the word of God again this beautiful morning. It’s worth all the praises we can give to God to be alive again today. Today’s post will be a continuation of the last post a shared on the essence of couples showing respect to one another. By the grace of God the last post was directed to the women, but its not that the Lord does not require the men to show respect to their wives, so in today’s write-up I will trust God to open the hearts of men to the need to show respect to their wives.

1 Peter 3:7
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

In truth, the word of God is always balanced. The Lord created the man and also the woman and He is not bound to favour one gender above the other. So when He gives an instruction to one gender requisite to fulfilling their assignment effectively, He gives also the other gender instructions requisite to fulfilling their assignment effectively.
In the passage above, the Lord will want the husbands in the same way to be considerate and treat their wives with respect. When we look at the instruction God gave through Peter, He wants the husband to be considerate with their wives and treat them with respect, and then He gave the instruction through Paul that the husbands should love their wives in the manner in which Christ loved the church. From these two passages, we can now conclude that the kind of respect the Lord requires from the husband to his wife is one raped up in love.
It is important for the husbands to realize and understand that their wives are the personification of God’s favour in their lives. Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from God.” So when as a man you understand that your wife is the symbol of God’s favour in your life, you will learn to value her more, your will learn to be considerate with her and respect her and you will learn to love her. Doing these things over time will develop in you a sense of great value for your wife that you will be willing to give yourself for her just as Christ gave Himself for the church.
Do you desire a change in the character and attitude of your wife? Try show her some love and respect and with the hand of God on your effort, it will not be long before you start to see some changes in her. I have heard it said that women have the gift of multiplying whatever seed that has being sown in them. When you learn to saw the seed of love and respect in your wife then you should expect to reap a harvest of greater love and respect from her.
Peter concluded that verse by saying “so that nothing will hinder your prayers,” and this appears to me as a warning for the men to show that failure to be considerate and treat their wives with respect can lead to God not paying attention to their prayers.
This same warning is seen in the book of Malachi 2:13-14 “Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accept them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, ‘Why?’ It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.” It really looks to me that God is not taking this issue lightly at all. God requires that the husband will treasure his wife and this should be evident in the way and manner in which he shows her love and respect. Failure to do this will make the Lord turn His face from the man.
When I wrote the post for the women two days ago, I felt the Lord might be asking for a little too much from the women on this issue of showing deep respect for our husbands. But by the time the Lord opened up His word to me today on what He requires of the man to his wife on the same matter, I kind of feel God is treading softly with us women. We will have it all good when we learn to show our husbands deep respect. It brings great love and peace in the home.
A man will work into his blessings faster and better when he has learnt to treasure God’s favour in his life. He becomes a richer man in every area of his life as he shows God his ability to handle well God’s first point of favour in his life. May the Lord help us build a home and a relationship that delights His heart.

THE ESSENCE OF SHOWING RESPECT TO YOUR SPOUSE (1)…BY ADERINSOLA OBASA

THE ESSENCE OF SHOWING RESPECT TO YOUR SPOUSE (1)...BY ADERINSOLA OBASAA beautiful evening to the wonderful people of God. I pray that the Lord will shine down with favour on your and all yours in Jesus Name. It’s being a while I wrote on the marriage topic, not that there is nothing to say, but I always have to write as the Spirit of the Lord leads. But I am trusting the Lord that the next few posts on this blog will be an encouragement for married couples.

1 Peter 3:1-2
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

So many women have come to see marriage as a coming together of two individual who they regard as mates and equal partners in the relationship. In as much as I do not wish to comment on the hierarchy of marriage, it is important to emphasize the importance of a wife showing respect to her husband in marriage.
Based on the English Dictionary, the word reverence is defined as 1) a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe; veneration, 2) a gesture indicative of deep respect, an obeisance, bow, or curtsy. From what Peter says, the reverence which is a sign or gesture of deep respect from the wife to her husband is a tool in the hands of God in winning over an unbelieving husband to Himself.

Several times women will complain that they are not bound to show respect to a husband who does not respect them in return. I totally agree that respect is earned and cannot be forced, but as a woman of God based on what the Bible is teaching us in the passage above, if by any chance you desire a change of attitude in the life of your husband and wish him to know the Lord and develop a relationship with God, which will in turn develop in him the realization of your value in his life thereby making him love and respect you, then you need to reverence him first, which based on the English dictionary means you need to show him deep respect tinged with awe.

The kind of respect that the Lord demands of the wife to her husband is not just any kind of respect, but deep respect and in fact based on what the dictionary is making us to understand, it is a deep respect that is accompanied with gestures. True, a wife might have developed a great level of closeness with her husband that might not require her to bow or curtsy to him, but still the respect from the wife to her husband should be deep respect.

I have learnt over time to reverence my husband and by the grace of God I have enjoyed the benefits of doing so. I have learnt to treat my husband like a king and he has also grown to see me as his queen. So when he has issues that he needs advise on, he talks to me and in most cases adopts the advise I give to him.

Once I was with a friend who is not a Christian and she heard me talking to my husband over the phone. After a while my husband came to meet me and my friend and she said it was not until she saw my husband that she realised that he was the person I was talking to on the phone. She had thought I was talking to my father noting the level of respect with which I was talking on the phone. She then said, now she has learnt something new in marriage and from that day on she will show better respect to her husband. I so blessed God that day that at least from my attitude I have been able to touch a marriage for the better.

The book of Esther chapter 1 tells the story of how queen Vashti was deposed as queen just by reason of her lack of respect for her husband. You should not expect to be queen in your home when you have not learnt to make your husband the king in the way and manner in which you show him respect. When you have learnt to respect your husband, then you lay a good example for the rest of your household to follow and emulate.

It is only when you have made your husband the king of your territory in your mannerism towards him that you also become the queen of that territory. Also not that the change your desire in your husband will come to be when you have contributed your own input and let God contribute His. May the Lord bless our homes in Jesus Name.

Aderinsola Obasa