CONFESSION VERSUS FORGIVENESS-THE BIBLE SAYS ADULTERY MUST BE CONFESSED…BUT DO WOMEN (OR MEN) REALLY FORGIVE THEIR HUSBANDS (OR WIVES)?…READ WHAT PEOPLE SAID
COMMENTS BY NON-NIGERIANS
1.Hello, yes I believe men forgive their wives as wives forgive their husbands, I also believe it takes a while because the person has been hurt and their trust has also been violated. I think it is a mistake for them to try and repair their relationship without counseling, family and friends can’t help they are to close to the situation and will take sides.Lets see what does the word forgive mean, (to cease being angry or bitter towards something or someone) I don’t know about you but that would not work for me to stay angry 24hrs a day everyday,I would cease being angry and feel the pain that the unfaithfulness causes.We are so very quick to say no I would not forgive them,so for the rest of your natural life you will let what this person did eat you up like a cancer. I believe we do more harm to our selves than actually what the person did There are couples that has gone through this and survived you know why because their love was stronger than the act that was committed and when you have love that is the foundation that two people build and repair their relationship on and the trust will come back when you don’t forgive you never allow the heart to heal, and you just keep caring that baggage around with you.You hear people talk about a situation and they sound so angry and you think at first it just happened but nope it happened years ago because they never forgave so how could they ever put closure to it.
3.Not unless they’ve committed it themselves too.
4.Forgive but never forget. (The forgiving you do for your own well-being, not hers; I don’t want to spend the rest of my days with a chip on my shoulder or unable to trust again.)
6.HELL No they remember forever
7.i guess the stupid ones do… (no offence intended)…if you want to forgive her.. then forget about her. don’t forget the crime. but forget that she was ever in your life. because you must move on…\
” i want to forgive you.. and i want to forget you”- The Hills
8.Some women do, some don’t. It’s really hard to trust somebody after they have cheated on you.
9.Yes, those men who are pus**ies.
10.They shouldn’t… Any more than a wife should forgive her husband for adultery.
11.YES the one that kwon that says she is truly sorry…plus love.
12.How can anyone forgive? I personally think it is unforgivable and I wouldn’t give them a chance to lie and cheat again.
13.Why should they? And while it is bad for both a man and woman to commit adultery, it is worse when a woman does it. Sex is physically more intimate for a woman. She is allowing another man to enter her body, and maybe even allowing him to leave something of himself behind. Not so with a man. It’s harder to forgive and be with someone who would allow someone else to be that intimate with them and had sworn to be faithful to you only. Put it this way. Imagine someone doing something nasty in your clothes, real nasty. Even if they washed those clothes would you want to wear them again, knowing that they did all of that nasty stuff in them.
14.Never. Even if they do, the relationship will never go back to the pre-adultery level. Never
15.Things are never the same after someone cheats. It doesn’t matter if it was the wife or the husband. When you have lost trust and respect you have nothing.
16.The ones that do will do so over and over again. The ones that don’t probably never will…In any event, I’ve seen both sides forgive and forgive and forgive. I think the right thing to do is cut ’em loose. Cheating is just plain unforgiveable, and I would only forgive it if I were desperate, which I am. If I could find someone else who actually cares about me I would ditch the girl that doesn’t care about me, but if you’re a lonely guy who hasn’t had much affection you will accept it from any source, no matter how she acts.
17.I don’t know about all men but I know that forgiveness is not for the benefit of the cheater but it is for you.Though I will readily forgive I will end the relationship because the act of cheating is a deliberate act and by this action one has negated their vows.There is nothing adult about adultery.Given the chance one who commits adultery will kill you.
18.Forgive? Sure. Stay with somebody who doesn’t respect and love you enough not to do that? Never. Why settle so low?
19.It takes a very strong man to forgive his wife for hurting him like that.But I don’t think any man or woman would ever forget it, and they may never trust that person again.
20.Never. Once it happens, and you know for sure, there is never trust again. I am going through this right now and have no respect nor do I believe anything that comes out of her mouth. I plan to cut and run. I know this sounds vindictive but right now I hope she wisens up someday and realizes just how badly she screwed up.
21.No, they hold something inside of them for years to come. EVEN if they do the same thing, they still blame you. And YOU BLAME YOU too. Counseling will help a bit but I am not sure how much…we never got that far.
22.They say they do , they fold back into the normal every day life , he gets up goes to work , she gets the kids off to school and then does what she needs doing then he comes home they have dinner , kids go to bed and sex may occur once a week or once every 2 to 3 weeks depending on how willing he is to fake being forgiving…..No changes are made , they dont work harder for the relationship , to give what their cheating wife thought was missing originally and 9 time’s out of 10 they have a revenge affair because their manhood has been attacked and torn to bits , it takes a strong man to forgive a woman , it takes a stronger man not to cheat to regain his manhood…..Adultery affects the whole family not just the spouse who was cheated on , so if your considering doing it , or you’ve done it then work your butt off to make it work , dont expect him to fix the problem , it takes 2 to make a marriage work , it takes 1 cheating spouse to destroy it , and it takes 1 hurt spouse to get nasty because the cheating spouse acts like the victim , and seriously it took both of you to get to the point you had to cheat it wasnt just all him no matter the excuses you tell yourself to make yourself feel better about your drop in self esteem and respect for the person you vowed to spend your life with and be faithful to…..Yes they do…
23.if i had a wife and she cheated on me, never in my life will i forgive her. seriously, cheaters are the worse things walking this planet.
24.Men seem to have a harder time forgiving their wives compared to women, I think its because men have larger egos? But at the end of the day, its about letting it go, & moving forward, theirs nothin you can change about the past but theirs lots of things you can do to change the future & #1 dont repeat past mistakes!
25.Somewhat more often than the gals forgive the guys, actually.
26.Some get over it because they love them! However, ah great deal of them don’t. They could never get over this mental picture of their other being with someone else, just like women but a lot worse. Things like this is hard to get over from when you love this person.
COMMENTS BY NIGERIANS
27.The case of the dead Bishop and his unforgiving wife of 50yrs shows that the issue of confession of adultery as interpreted from the Holy Bible needs closer and prayerful examination and interpretation.The Bishop probably followed theological injunctions but failed flatly to convince his spouse with whom he had read the bible daily for 50 yrs! Why do you think the COZA pastor in Abuja refused to confess his adultery?
28.In Nigeria i will never confess adultery to my wife even if she catches me with another woman in bed.Which woman wants you to tell her that she is worthless to you? I look at it as a kind of disrespect to her if i can not tell her that what she saw is not what she thinks it is.You see women are women.You must create some amount of self-doubt in her about the infidelity if you know you still want her.Otherwise just forget that you ever had a wife or someone who loved you.
29.My dear Brother, the Bible can never help you appease a Nigerian woman you were unfaithful to.Confess only if you are ready to have two wives or more.She can choose to stay or go but know that you no longer have whom you can call “the love of your life”. Your second ,third or fourth wife can never fill the vacuum. So my suggestion is DON’T GET CAUGHT!…AND IF YOU DO?…READ MY LIPS!
30.I remember one Nollywood film in which the wife caught the husband making love to the housemaid.He denied flatly and said the girl fainted and he was only giving her mouth-to-mouth air (his pant was still on). The wife shouted and cried but he refused to budge. After a while the wife started to feel she was wrong about both of them.And he would have totally convinced the hapless woman if nature had not stepped in with pregnancy and eventual confession of the maid.To be honest with you, i will do it like he did it too.But if my wife try same with me that’s the end of our relationship. In this country,its a man’s world. Abi not so?