HERE ARE 15 THINGS NIGERIANS MISS WHILE LIVING ABROAD…DO YOU AGREE?

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There is no doubt living abroad is one of the desires of most Nigerians. It is one of the most unforgettable and incredible experiences that anyone will love to partake in. However, there are quite a few things that you may miss outside Nigeria. Yes, you may have taken these things for granted. Wait till you have spent few months abroad, by then, the excitement and fun of the new city must have worn off. This is when you may start missing the some things about Nigeria and you’ll shockingly be longing for them.

Here are 15 things Nigerians miss while living abroad:

1.Visitation from friends, neighbors and families

2. Free car parks

3. Street shops/trading

4. Street Jamz

5. The TV shows

6. Lagos bus conductors

7. Speaking daily vernacular – Pidgin English

8. Owambe Parties

9. Market haggling

10. People who do everything for you

11. Affordable housing

12. Cool weather

13. Nigerian hospitality

14. Street foods

15. Daily Lagos Scenes

There is nothing as interesting as Lagos city’s daily scenes. It’s been said that, “If you can live in Lagos, you can live in any city in the world”. People living abroad miss the daily scenes of Lagos – the traffic jams, the street vendors, Lagos transport hustles, Agbero shouting destination names – “Oshodi Oshodi’, the odd feeling they get when people push past them without saying sorry, the fights, street dance performances and many more.

There is no place like home. What do you miss most about Nigeria?

By ksmiles on Nairaland

REACTIONS TO 15 THINGS NIGERIANS MISS WHILE LIVING ABROAD

1. U haven’t mentioned agege bread with ewa ganyin

2.Everything you listed can be experienced in Peckham and Dalston market in London

3.I personally miss nothing from Nigeria. I grew up in the ghettos of Lagos. As soon as I got the chance to leave, I didn’t even think twice.

4.I did not miss Ebola

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LIKE BBA’S SHUTI,BRANGELINA COMES TO AN END AND SOME FANS ARE MOURNING!

The History of the Brangelina Nickname

Ever since the days when Ben Affleck and J.Lo first got together and fans affectionately dubbed them “Bennifer,” the practice of bestowing hilarious monikers on celebrity couples has become a standard part of pop culture. (In fact, celeb relationship nicknames date back even earlier — remember when Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz dubbed their television production company in the 1950s Desilu?) It wasn’t long after Affleck and Lopez hooked up that Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah Winfrey’s couch while declaring his love for Katie Holmes, and “TomKat” appeared on the scene. So when two of the biggest names in Hollywood, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, pledged their romantic allegiance to each other, it was only fitting that they would forego their individual identities and become forever linked as Brangelina.

It all started in 2004 when Pitt (who was married to Jennifer Aniston at the time) and Jolie worked together on the steamy set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Rumors swirled that the two had become romantically involved, and a year later, Pitt and Aniston split. From that moment on, Pitt and Jolie were unstoppable — until they announced their divorce today. Like many relationships in the public eye, the powerful duo had been given their own shiny nickname, Brangelina, a label that was rumored to have been bestowed on them by People magazine back in 2005.

Fans hopped on board so quickly that the term became universally recognized long before it was even confirmed that the two A-listers were shacking up. A few months after the birth of Brangelina, TMZ launched. Celebrity gossip hit an all-time high, and Pitt and Jolie became media perennials as the world watched their every move. And with that, #Brangelina became a regularly trending hashtag.

Although the world quickly rallied around the name Brangelina, the famous duo reportedly were not fans of their nickname. While Jolie was making her directorial debut on Budapest, which was filming in Hungary, Pitt swung by the set to provide moral support. It wasn’t long before he overheard the crew referring to him and his wife as Brangelina. Apparently, the mere mention of the nickname was enough to make him visibly upset. Jolie didn’t like it either but opted to brush it off playfully. The actress — who typically introduces herself as Angie — was overheard saying, “We don’t use that. It just sounds like a breakfast cereal.”

While the couple didn’t embrace Brangelina, according to the Sun, they did have their own special pet names for one another. Pitt reportedly referred to Jolie as “Kitty,” while she showed her affection toward him by calling him “Miffy.” A source revealed to the paper that these were also the pseudonyms the couple used when they checked into hotels.

Naturally, Pitt and Jolie’s six kids also have cutesy nicknames. During an interview with BBC Radio 4, Jolie divulged that the family refers to Maddox as “Mad,” Zahara as “Z,” and Shiloh is “Shi.”

But back to Brangelina … with the news of their split, fans are not only mourning Pitt and Jolie’s relationship but the loss of their favorite celebrity couple name as well.

According to a 2014 poll conducted by Us Weekly, Brangelina is the most popular celeb couple nickname of all time. Forty-six percent of voters deemed it their favorite, with 25 percent voting for Bennifer, and 21 percent for TomKat.

Now, just as the duo has uncoupled, so will their identity. The announcement brought longtime Brangelina supporter Perez Hilton to tears. And fans around the globe are throwing a massive fit about having to say goodbye to Brangelina.

https://www.yahoo.com/celebrity/the-history-of-brangelinas-nickname-003306797.html

DIVORCE IS SAD, NOT FUNNY

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and their six children Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Knox, and Vivienne arrive at Haneda International Airport on November 8 in Tokyo, Japan.
Something about the way the internet disperses information has made us meaner, or at least, it has made our capacity for meanness more obvious.
When I first heard the reports on Tuesday that Angelina Jolie had filed for divorce from Brad Pitt, my first instinct, like many people on the internet, was to look for a joke in the form of a tweet ― a quip that could be liked and shared.

I would feel more embarrassed to admit that, except I am so far from alone. Within seconds of the news breaking on TMZ, “Brangelina” jokes were coming fast and furious, complete with Jennifer Aniston GIFs meant to connote something along the lines of “I told you so.” People practiced their puns in real time, screamed in all-caps, and fought to become the tweet that came out on top.

But there’s another, more simple way to look at this: Two adults with six children just split up. And those children will have to deal with the pain that comes along with divorce for years. I have never had to live through that ― my parents are still together ― but by talking to so many of my friends who have, I understand how painful divorce can be for children of any age, but particularly young children.

Divorce is sad, not funny, especially when children are involved. I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty right now about their jokes. I just wish I hadn’t felt the need to make them, as well. That’s all I have by way of hot takes right now. Sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 “LITTLE THINGS” THAT MAKE OUR DAY!

1. Getting in front of a long vehicle on the road before it blocks our view

2. Weighing ourselves and finding that for no particular reason we had lost five kilo.

3. Discovering a forgotten N2000 in our bag, buba or trouser pocket unexpectedly.

4. Seeing all our outfits are complete and smelling nicely when returned by the laundry people.

5. Getting to a hospital reception and finding a magazine that really interests us.

6. Finding a message from a family in the middle of all our junk mail.

7. Buying hot, freshly baked French bread from Shoprite to go with ewa agayin or our wife’s orisirisi

8. Finding a great old movie on Youtube free download.

9. Anyone of my ex-students telling me time spent with me was worth the while. Makes me feel a little taller than I really am.

10. Being respectfully moved from a long payment queue to a much shorter one for oldies like me over 60.

Converted from a similar post on the net

WE ARE TREMBLING TO READ HOW OBAHIAGBON WILL REPLY THIS OPEN LETTER!

WE ARE TREMBLING TO READ HOW OBAHIAGBON WILL REPLY THIS OPEN LETTER!TO MY ABURO PATRICK, HIMSELF THE IGODOMIGODO

Pardon me for kick-starting this missive with this peculiarly Nigerian locution: How far?

The enquiry contains more than a hint of jocosity, to be sure, but there is nothing jocose about it insofar as it relates to the state of the nation, the Nigerian condition, of which you are a perceptive observer and incisive analyst.

I say nothing of course of your coruscating erudition and wit, in contradistinction to those hacks who, in desperate yearning for anything emblematic of distinction, however fleeting and fragmentary, however tenuous, are forever advertising themselves as “Abuja-based public affairs commentators.”

The truth of the matter, the indissoluble actuality as you personally experienced it during your memorable and eventful sojourn in the House of the People in that city, with its asphyxiating sterility is that they are for the most part unemployed and unattached freeloaders, if not unreconstructed scroungers outright. Even in your present disposition, you have encountered a surfeit of them, I am sure.

It is deeply to be lamented that the aforementioned disposition has incommoded you in no small measure, rendering you not just invisible but also inaudible. I still find it incomprehensible, inexplicable even, that a person of your vivaciousness, spontaneity and sensibilities can feel obliged to observe so much restraint in face of the daily occurrences that provoke nothing short of atrabilious rage even when each is considered as a singularity.

Taken cumulatively, as a totality, the occurrences are nothing if not benumbing. Your resolute and unflappable equanimity in the face of all this is eminently to be lauded.

Unlike many of our compatriots of easy gullibility, I do not suppose for a nanosecond, however, that this apparent equanimity stems from fecklessness; I know you too much to entertain such a misimpression. I know it has been forced upon you by the rules of engagement under which you currently operate.

When you were not thus shackled, your voice resonated with unmatched clarity and eloquence rendered all the more arresting by your consummate mastery of cadenced, sesquipedalian oration delivered right off the cuff – unlike some of your colleagues who could not make the most prosaic statement off script and are consequently not remembered for anything except their propensity for self-aggrandisement of the most ravenous kind, by which I mean, gorging themselves remorselessly on the national patrimony.

It cannot have been easy for a person of your public spiritedness and unswerving commitment to what is noble and just and of good report to live through an almost endless march of events of the most stultifying kind and yet refrain from giving utterance to disapproval and disapprobation even in the most subdued of tones, sotto voce, so to speak.

And the events, in all their discombobulation, in all their furious gallop, are legion. Where to start, then? Where to delineate as a point of departure in this excursus?

Is it the Senate Rules of Order, as amended, which threw up a leadership that has been embroiled in a crisis of authority and legitimacy and credibility and integrity since that body launched its current session more than a year ago? Or the perjury trial, the carnivalesque optics of which may appear to a first-time visitor to these parts as a coronation, replete with fawning adulation and saccharine glorification?

Or Budget 2016 that has performed enough disappearing and re-appearing acts to turn the Cheshire cat into a rank amateur in the business, a mewling infant? Or again Budget 2016 that was padded with layers upon layers of pork when a version which seemed closest to being authentic was eventually found?

Or should I commence with the crash of the oil market and its deleterious consequences for everything: the Exchequer and the economy, not forgetting the Naira which has since become like an orphan abandoned, and the attendant disequilibrium and disarticulation in transactions of every kind and even social intercourse?

I will enter no comment on the vexed and perennial subject of fuel subsidy, whether real or contrived. I recall your spirited and illumining intervention the last time it was the focal point, the core issue of perfervid national discourse, and how it compelled abandonment of the perilous trajectory on which the authorities were determined to embark, and a near-complete reversion to the status quo ante, consonant with vociferous public demand.

The price of that precious combustible has since escalated, with nary a public rally by the usual sworn opponents. But where in the time of regulation there was a drought there is now in the time of de-regulation a cascading torrent, a glut. Still, despite the superabundant revenue accruing to Abuja following deregulation, there have been dark intimations, registering just above whispering level, of some stubborn residual subsidy requiring radical excision.

Save your heaviest ordnance for that conjuncture, Aburo. It is not quite over yet.

Something tells me, Aburo, you are fully primed for the looming battle for the succession on the home turf. Having worked in close juxtaposition with the Comrade Governor – no, I under- state it horribly and crave your indulgence to take it back – having served him as trusted adviser, sounding board, confidant, having taken charge of organising his schedule and his work flow, you doubtless apprehend more than anyone else the factors that have conduced to his phenomenal success.

Do you espy any of those traits or factors in any of the contenders? It is again deeply to be regretted that even if you do, you cannot so proclaim under current rules of engagement. Such, alas, is the perversity of bureaucracy.

But you are nothing if not creative, my dear Aburo. I am sure you will fabricate, with your accustomed ingenuousness a design that will help beam on the battle for the succession your unrivalled knowledge of the Comrade Governor, his vision, his work habits, his temperament, his proclivities and all those factors that shaped the great legacy he is bequeathing to the grateful people of Edo State and indeed to posterity.

Someone who claims to be privy to recondite secrets tells me that reports to the effect that the Grand Fixer has been neutered, rendered hors de combat, are vastly exaggerated, and that he is lurking patiently in the shadows, waiting to charge into battle at the sound of the bell.

Is there any veracity to the report, even a scintilla of verisimilitude? I ask mostly of our curiosity, not from diffidence. I know that with you and the other stalwarts in his corner, the Comrade Governor can contain a dozen grand fixers.

That would be all for now, my dear Aburo. Something tells me we will hear from or of you soon, over the chants of victory and the promise of continuity.

Until then, I remain your Egbon and kindred soul.

Olatunji Dare

http://thenationonlineng.net/aburo-patrick-igodomigodo/

HUSBANDS BEWARE…DO NOT TAKE YOUR “WEAK-LOOKING” WIVES FOR GRANTED!

Kemi-Otun

WIFE BOUGHT CUTLASS TWO WEEKS BEFORE ATTACKING HUSBAND – POLICE

A jealous housewife, Oluwakemi Etu, who hacked her husband, Kehinde Etu, to a coma on Saturday has told the police that she bought a new machete two weeks before the act for the purpose of punishing Kehinde.

The acting Police Public Relations Officer for the Ogun State Police Command, Abimbola Oyeyemi, who stated this on Monday, also told our correspondent that Oluwakemi explained further that after purchasing the machete, she hid it in her apartment in the Erinlu area of Ijebu Ode, so as not to arouse suspicion.

“She said her waiting paid off last Saturday as she succeeded in luring her husband to her apartment,” the PPRO added.

Our correspondent gathered that she had invited the husband over to her residence to spend the weekend with her, which the man honoured without suspecting any foul play.

It was learnt that while he was there, she treated him warmly, but later attacked him with machete, inflicting several deep cuts on his chest and other parts of the body while he was asleep.

Oluwakemi was arrested by men of the Obalende Police Division, while the husband was rushed to the General Hospital in Ijebu Ode, where he is receiving medical attention.

The state acting spokesperson said the machete Oluwakemi used to inflict wounds on her husband had been recovered.

He said, “The woman has told the police that she bought the cutlass she used in inflicting cuts on her husband two weeks before she attacked him.

“She claimed that she attacked her hubby because he wanted to marry a second wife.”

Oyeyemi, an Assistant Superintendent of Police, said the suspect would soon be charged to court with either “wounding or attempted murder.”

Meanwhile, a source at the state General Hospital, Ijebu Ode, said Kehinde was responding to treatment.

Copyright PUNCH.   

 

“THIS WEDDING WON’T LAST SIX MONTHS.BET ME!”-WHY ARE SOME NIGERIANS SNEERING AT MONALISA?

Star actress, Monalisa Chinda & Victor Tonye Coker wedded In Greece on the 1st of September. Here are some photos (above) from the event as shared by Veteran actress, Chinyere Wilfred.But some Nigerians have descended heavily on what they think is an arrangee wedding But is it? Here are their comments:

1.They all look somehow.The husband is not looking comfortable.Like he dey say he don buy market!

2.I swear I noticed the same n when I saw your comment,i just burst into laughter

3.What an ugly dress and ring tho. This recession dey show everywhere oh.

4.May I find love but not painful one.The man is looking broke assed!

5.Na only 3 people made it to the wedding? Wey the best man? Dem for tell us say dem broke naaa.

6.Why is she acting like getting married is an achievement?…she old already..with another man child..and she is getting married again..i hope she find happiness in it tho.

7.She doesnt look like a bride at all…but more greece to her elbows!

8.What kind of pictures are these and why are they all looking like lips are sealed.Na wa o.This woman Chinyere chest dey always fear me sha.

9.Shey u know say that woman go born u

10.Happy married life…all the best…Let’s just say she is more interested in finding love. Once beaten, twice shy.

11.Locations don finish for Nigeria ni? Next will be “Picshures from Genevieve’s wedding in Somalia”

12.She is no longer pretty as she used to be.Old Mama Youngy.Too much makeup and harsh body cream.But i love her simplicity.

13.Them just go find one corner do the wedding for Greece, unto say dem wan show say dem no Wed for naija.

14.Keke Elijah!…getting married every now and then.

15.This wedding won’t last six months. Bet me. From these pictures it’s clear something just isn’t right. Monalisa looks like she is up to something, while the husband looks helplessly used. Let’s watch and see sha.Or na movie sef?

16.But they’ve been together for years,dear.

17.Wishing Monalisa a Happy marriage.Wedding is a ceremony, the real thing is to sustain it.I hope she will emulate the few who are successfully married among Nollywood couples.

18.Amen to yr prayer dear.

19.Reminds me of Madam Akwanga. Shocked, hmmmmn. I hope the man can finish what he has started , he looks disturbed already… May this marriage last like that of our fathers .

20.Why dem no invite Spartacus com d wedding?….

COMMENT EXTRACTED OR RE-ARRANGED FROM NAIRALAND

THE CYCLE…REALITY OF LIFE…SO SAD, BUT TRUE!

God created the donkey and said to him.
“You will be a donkey. You will work  from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years.”
The donkey answered:
“I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years”
God granted his wish.
…………………………………………………………………………….
God created the dog and said to him:
“You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.You will be a dog.”
The dog answered:
“Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.”
God granted his wish.
…………………………………………………………………………….
God created the monkey and said to him:
“You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.You will be amusing and you will live 20 years.”
The monkey answered:
“To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years.”
God granted his wish.
…………………………………………………………………………….
Finally God created man and said to him:
“You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years.”

Man responded:
“Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little,
give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
the 15 years that the dog did not want and
the 10 years the monkey refused.”
God granted man’s wish
…………………………………………………………………………….
And since then, man lives 20 years as a man,marries and spends 30 years like a donkey,working and carrying all the burdens on his back.Then when his children are grown,he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house
and eating whatever is given to him,so that when he is old,he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That’s Life.Is’nt it?

http://www.indiaonrent.com/view/r/reality-of-life-sad-but-true.html

83-YR-OLD CLERIC CHALLENGES WITCHES, WIZARDS, OCCULTISTS TO CONTEST!

83-YR-OLD CLERIC CHALLENGES WITCHES, WIZARDS, OCCULTISTS TO CONTEST!

One-of-the-Witches-from another story

NNEWI—THE eighty-three years old Founder of New Covenant Christian Fellowship, NCCF, Nnobi, Anambra State, Apostle Chukwusom Okoli, has thrown a challenge to witches, wizards, occults and spiritualists all over the world for a spiritual contest.

Source: Ceric challenges witches, wizards, occultists to contest – Vanguard News

Related Post

MUST SEE VIDEO…SHOCKING LIVE SPIRITUAL BATTLE BETWEEN PASTOR AND JUJU PRIESTS IN FRONT OF HIS CHURCH!

https://mile2herald.wordpress.com/2014/12/05/must-see-video-shocking-live-spiritual-battle-between-pastor-and-juju-priests-in-front-of-his-church/

FATHER TELLS STELLA ODUAH TO RETURN LATE SON’S BODY FOR PROPER BURIAL

Ex-husband of Senator Stella Oduah,  Lt-Col. Satchie Emmanuel Etoromi (rtd.) pleaded on Wednesday with the ex-Aviation Minister to return the body of his late son,  Maxwell Chinedu Toritseju Etoromi, for proper burial in Warri,  Delta State. Cief Etoromi, who spoke with journalists in Warri shortly after sending a powerful delegation to his royal majesty, Igwe D. O. Oduah, the Igwe of Akili Ozizor, Ogbaru in Anambra State, expressed sadness over the death of his son and how he was treated by the Senator.

Source: Father Tells Stella Oduah To Return Late Son’s Body For Proper Burial | Sahara Reporters